Friday, September 19, 2008
EL intensive./ 5:50 AM

Seems to be tiring because we would have to go for this intensive during mid of the o lvls time. By the way, already got information from 5n1,2 and 3 and alot express classes saying that they are not going for graduation night. I think they made the right decision because somehow, yea,70 dollars. What about the clothes' money.? Just for a few dishes and for only few hours?

For me,i ain't going. Yea,i may be able to afford it and yea,can catch up with friends but i can always see them just by asking them out. Nothing much during grad nite though,just some performances and see people for like few hours?Also, there is not much good memories for me this year,yeap. Plus,i go there also waste money because i simply have food phobia,go there stare space?

This year is like so expensive for alot students but for teachers,they need not pay a single cent because school would be paying for them.
My friends and i already planned a OWN graduation night which would be much cheaper =).

For one of my tuition mate,her grad nite is like after prelims and before o levels.

Like one of my friend said,don't go graduation night because we are not going to graduate this sounds funny

I already wrote my mail for simei ite but havent send yet, most probably after o lvls den decide =).

And that day super funny.LOL. One auntie who works in the school ask me to jay walk.LOL. She cross over when its red and say xiao di, no cars already. Cross lor. Yea no cars but still,it was redlight so i simply looked in other direction and ignored her. Can't cross mah,unless you want to say i color blind.

Few days ago after school i was going home alone, was "waiting" for the traffic light to turn green and thus,i waited but after awhile,i saw some people crossing le so i just followed by at that point,i was deep into my thoughts till i heard loud beep and the car was just like 2 metres away before crashing into me. oh

Today also went to tuition after eating at home. Like what i promised to people, so i went to take a taxi to bugis for my maths tution. Taxi driver was kind, talked with me for the whole journey. Yea,during the lesson, we did paper one,few questions 10 mins interval. In the end,everyone i got like 25/60. Nevermind, can improve de. The tutor did mentioned something about me and the prelim paper. She said the paper is like so easy and i agreed and said o lvls won' come out like that easy de.100 percent confirm. Then she asked why i did so badly so just tell her lor, was unwell that day. She understood and also said this wasn't me. Maybe she meant about my maths standard. She also said the workings was so messy pretty much. Yep, like i said,i made alot of careless mistakes and was sick that day.This is why couldn't concentrate and wrote messily. But even i wasn't sick ,i think i won't be able to score well either but at least i would get a D7 than now a F9. Two grades different.Darn. I predict my L1R5 for prelim to be ermm, somewhere from 37 to 43. 100 percent confirmed. Mid year was like 22.Pretty much,both sucks!. But for this prelim,i actually felt quite happy abit because i never studied and did better than expected. Like i mentioned earlier, didn't expect to get a b for physics but chem gonna pull me down.

Thinking back about how i did badly for my maths,humanities test. =(. I never forget the comments he/she wrote on the paper and never give up on me?not sure bout this. It's not tat i purposely or stress so i cannot do. Because most of his/her period whenever heshe came in even before this conflict started,i keep thinking about how to make myself adapt to sudden change of staffs. This is why my mind went blank during the tests.

How i wish time would turn back and all these would not have happened.

not sure if this is true but i heard that they said i was wat,?mentally sick. omg man,how can they spread this about me if this is true. did ask them about it but no replies so yeap.

Maybe if there is such thing as brainwash,i definitely go for it man.

To all the supporters/haters that i garnered during this few months

Love me or hate me
its still and obsession.

Today after school was some sort of lame and fun thats because i went to pasar malam with kenneth.Yeap just two of us, when we was approaching the food stall. I guess you all know what is happening. I was starting to vomit but didnt' then when i finally reached the stall, it became worser. This phobia is due to mentally thinking. i guess,pretty much. So i really tried to overcome but yea,for a moment,now when typing this and talking bout the food,i want to vomit!.!!!!

I wonder what i would be eating for tomorrow.? Just 3/4 plate of rice with little fillings ^_^.? At least i won't be eating completely nothing but still seriously if i recall when doing mdm faridah's coursework, teenagers need at least energy(kcal) of like 2300 for boys. Everyday,i am having like less than 500kcal. Seriously,i gonna be suffering from whatever. If this thing doesn't stop, i really gonna be eating LITTLE FOR MY WHOLE LIFE!!DARN.=HELP. PEoplE .HELPEEEE>>>> Friends,i need you by my side during this point of time. Yes,i will try to overcome this phobia of food myself but i need encouragment from you guys,maybe you people have solutionS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>??? If i am lucky during minority of the time, i can still eat more but i really missed the times like last year and everyday and everytime in school right before like august. Its a curse,for like two years in a row,after my bdae few days,will have things happened and yeap, everything started like few days after it. I shouldn't have send those stupid sms. I really regret it.Fine it was my fault. Maybe you all want to make me happy and thus,overrating me but thought i feel better with those comments. I really missed the times when i always shout out answers or get "scolded" by you. I never forget the moment when you touch your specs and muhaimin thought you are pointing finger at him. Minz to him," I go point finger at you anot?" Super lol. Me and don is like laughing like hell.HAHa. Now everytime he walked in,feel happy and sad at the same time.Sad because of "failed" hope thinking that he/she would suddenly become like last time. Happy because i get to see my friends,the teachers like 25 days more. I hope he/she would understand one day. People who don't know,please stop pestering to ask what happened. Irritating and annoying. People who know because i told you,glad you all didn't spread it. =)


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